Porsche dealer - "I got it wrong with the buy one get one free card".

Written by Jenny Shu

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Glen Fergusson - Sales and Marketing manager for a brand new Californian Porsche dealer. Has lost his job and faces possible legal proceedings as the company strives to reclaim the costs of the 18 Porches given away free under Glen's Opening day "buy one get one free promotion" "I admit I didn't really do the numbers properly on this one" said Glen who told reporters that he had "seen the concept work really well for coffee stores" and in terms of numbers you could argue that Glen's campaign worked. As the new Porsche dealer sold 18 Porches in the first hour of the store opening. It took the head office a full hour to realise what was going on and subsequently shut the store. Local man Bruce Stepper took out a second mortgage on his home after getting a promotional flyer in his mailbox. "I am ecstatic - I brought a shiny red Porsche today, got another one free and I have sold just sold it on EBay, all up I end up getting a Porsche 911 for $5000" Jane Cameron was arguably even more entrepreneurial. The local Janitor purchased a Porsche using the dealers "no deposit finance plan for low income earners", sold both cars, paid off the finance account and walked away with $120,000 profit. The finance plan was another one of Glen's initiatives that has now been cancelled. A red faced Glen stated "I have never really been too good at Math and I was sure the whole time we were making money - I was initially blown away by the amount of cars we were selling in that first hour. I had seen the "buy one get one free card" work extremely well for the new coffee shop down the road and thought what a great idea I will try it here." National spokesman for the dealership chain was quoted as saying "We are just glad that the idiot didn’t have time to run with his 'test drive 5 cars, get one free loyalty stamp card' campaign.

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Another day in Technical Suport

No joke, actual call:

"Thank you for calling National City Technical Support, I'm Stawn Kaufman. How can I help you?"

"Hi, yes I'm doing my taxes and I was trying to view my transactions for 2006. The search is only going back to December. How do I go back to see the rest of the year?"

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website."

"Oh. But there's a search bar here, and I'm searching for earlier in the year."

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website. The search bar allows you to search within that timeframe."

"I really need to access this information, how can I get it, do I log in somewhere else?"

(...ok, maybe she's just a slow learner)

"Unfortunately. You can only. View 90. Days. Of activity online."

"Well obviously you still store the information somewhere, how do I access it?"

"Ma'am. It's not possible. You can only view 90 days of activity online."

"Can I pay to have it made available to me?"

"No."

(...)

"Would you like to order copies of those paper statements?"

"No, I have all of those, but I didn't want to have to do everything manually. There used to be more information available online, why did you change it?"

"We have actually increased the amount of information available on the website every year."

"Oh. 90 days of activity really isn't very much. How am I supposed to do my taxes?"

"Ma'am, how did you do your taxes ten years ago?"

(click.)

Another customer issue resolved.

A tree has many layers

Emotion
n. :: in its most general definition, emotion is an intense mental state that arises autonomically in the nervous system rather than through conscious effort, and evokes either a positive or negative psychological response.

My two cents, if desired: Your first reaction to any situation will almost always be based entirely upon an emotional response. This is an internal chemical reaction that you can’t change. What you can change is your interpretation of that chemical reaction and your physical response to it. Emotional reactions to the changes in life and to the situations life presents have the ability to change nearly every aspect of who we are. Emotions can cause you to become awkward and unsure of yourself or bitter and arrogant.

One thing I try to do is consider my reaction as if it is an email. I can compose the email. Edit, delete, cut and paste, reword for gentleness and then sit back and review for logical correctness. If my emotions write an email that is completely ridiculous (which is often the case), I can just hit the delete button, and start over. If I sit down and actually write everything I am feeling, I often will have enough time to realize that it’s not what I am feeling at all! It’s just the chemicals talking. It’s a simple (yet sometimes hard to accomplish) process of thought before action.

Have you ever wished to become more spiritual and meditative? This would imply a desire to become more complacent and more accepting of conditions surrounding you. Emotions act in complete violation of complacency in nearly every case. In Trekkie terms, Vulcans are very spiritual and meditative. In order to achieve this supreme satisfaction and assuredness, it was necessary for the souls of Vulcan to shed the soft flesh of emotion and don a suit of logic and self-control. Mind you, this was an extreme adaptation of this idea.

Some people remain random, irrational and emotionally reactive and claim that it is in their nature to be. They romanticize these behaviors by using descriptive words such as spontaneous, dreamy and idealistic. How do you intend to achieve financial stability and spiritual solidity with personal characteristics that are so detrimental to your overall objective?

You may say that I am “stable, logical, static, outgoing and realistic”. I say that perhaps everyone can be, but the ability must be developed. Internally, I am changeable, movable, introverted and idealistic. But these attributes do nothing for me in the real world. They complicate things and cause bitterness and rash behavior. They cause me to abandon my responsibilities and chase fireflies in a field of dandelions. They are, however, the basis of inspiration and aspiration. Without our emotions as the fundamental building blocks of our lives, we are nothing but lizards. The only thing cool about that is the whole changing colors thing.

(this post was edited after it was originally posted)

MyArtist Bio

I am an artist. I believe that one of the greatest forms of art is the art of music. Music can express many thoughts and emotions in a way that no other form of art can. I have been involved in music for the majority of my life. From age five, I was singing in church. My sisters and I would (as embarrassing as it was) parade down the isles of the church singing songs like Sandi Patty's "Friendship Company" with streamers and matching outfits. We were quite a show.

I participated in several plays and musicals, including Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe (starring); Oklahoma; Sound of Music; Joe Bob (a reinvention of the biblical book of Job, starring); South Pacific (starring); Meet Me in St. Louis (starring) and others that I'm unable to recall. I was given three straight superior ratings at vocal contest, and was first chair sax in the band. I have participated in many vocal ensembles, including Ashland High School's A Capella Chorus, which was rated the number one high school choir in the nation in 2000.

I have also recorded a CD and performed for weddings and events across the state. I spent a few months with Wall Street's Sunday Night Live, which is a musical comedy group. I have experience playing trumpet, sax, guitar and have recently acquired an electric piano (which I wish my parents would have forced me to learn at age three).

My joy is karaoke with friends at least three times a week at local venues. I am hoping to expand into local entertainment and perhaps one day go on tour. I have yet to decide a genre or style; there are so many I love. Do I have to choose?

The most interesting and gratuitous change in my life was my move to Columbus, Ohio. I have determined that the people I have been so privileged to meet have been most effective in helping me to discover myself and my possibilities. I have learned so much and am almost ready to delve into Part 3 of my life. I don't really know what that entails, but be prepared folks, its gonna be big!

-SK

Life in a Box

At the end of your life you will see that you are built on an accumulation of experiences. Think of this, if you live your entire life in a box with a window that points to the west, and there is a desert to the west, is not that desert and the box all you will know? This box is great! It has become your comfort zone and you love being there. It’s just you, your box, and the desert.

However, only upon exiting your box can you see the rolling waves of the ocean to the east, the tall green forest to the south or the magnificent snow-capped mountains awaiting a daring climber! The more varied and diverse your experiences and relationships, the more exuberant and exciting you will have the opportunity to be. Everyone has features and assets that are hidden within that may never be known, unless unlocked. It’s not that haven’t always been capable of being who you will be when you end your time on this world. You are. Be open to change and experience. They will inspire you and create new life within you.

My mother unlocked my kindness and sincerity.
My father unlocked my sense of responsibility and faith in change.
Trynia unlocked my faith in myself.
Bert unlocked my acceptance of being different.
Chris unlocked my wild side.
Randy and Jerry unlocked ideas of structure and consistency.
Colin unlocked the possibility of an irreplaceable friend.

You hold many keys to many people.
Maybe you didn’t know that you held one to me.
Maybe you didn’t know you’ve already used it.