When I'm famous.

Sometimes I sit at work and pretend I'm a movie star. "I'm sorry, but this studio room simply won't do. I need an upgrade and you have five minutes. And tell the chef I wanted caviar with my sushi.."

Pay by Mobile

Nokia, LG, Samsung, Sony and MasterCard are going to make it easier for consumers to shop! Like we need that. There is a plan in motion to make cell phones that can be waived in front of a scanner to make purchases, as with a credit card. This type of service has apparently been available for years in Japan and Hong Kong.

"After several fragmented initiatives, the mobile phone industry is now uniting around a single approach to enabling the mobile phone to be used, instead of cash or plastic credit card, at point of sale," Rob Conway, CEO of the GSM Association, the global trade association for cell phone operators, told Reuters.

It would stand to reason that there will be a security question or PIN number that must be entered into the phone that would enable the purchase. It would be great if it also revealed a picture of the person authorized to make purchases with that mobile device. The benefit being that if your phone is stolen, no purchases could be made by an unauthorized user.

October will bring more news, along with trials of the new services. Click here for more information.

Places you wish you grew up...

This is a partial re-post of a great writeup. Click here if wish to read the entire original post.

Q: Are there any societies where homosexuality is predominant?

A: Ah, this brings us to my favorite cultural sexual oddity, which occurs in Sambia, New Guinea. In the Sambia tribe, as early as age 7, young boys are expected to “suck the penis of a mature boy every night and swallow the sperm" (I'd make a joke if I wasn't terrified). Boys who refuse are forever treated as children within the context of their community, because “without regular ingestion of male seed, the Sambia believe, boys will never grow up into strong, mature men.” At the age of 15, the boys are considered mature enough to provide their own genitals for the younger boys to felicitate. Performing fellatio on a younger boy is strictly forbidden; as it is considered stealing his manhood because it results in a loss of semen from the growing boy (makes me wonder if they replace their “Got Milk?” ads with the tagline “Got cum?” No? Awww shucks). As soon as the boys marry, they cease to engage in homosexual contact, but often times, since they are so estranged from female sexuality and coitus, they ask their new brides to wear a bag over her head and fellate them on their wedding night. Interestingly, according to Loving Boys Vol. 1 (haha, cum again?), “After 10 to 15 years of exclusive homosexual activity carried on by 100 % of the Sambia population, the incidence of adult homosexual orientation is only 5 % - exactly the same as in Western society.” So...short answer, yes, long answer, no.

Source: Brongersma E: Loving Boys Vol. 1. Elmhurst. New York.: Global Academic Publishers, 1986.

Source: Crooks, Robert L. & Baur, Karla (2004) Our Sexuality 9th edition. Wadsworth Publishing Company, 276.

Porsche dealer - "I got it wrong with the buy one get one free card".

Written by Jenny Shu

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Glen Fergusson - Sales and Marketing manager for a brand new Californian Porsche dealer. Has lost his job and faces possible legal proceedings as the company strives to reclaim the costs of the 18 Porches given away free under Glen's Opening day "buy one get one free promotion" "I admit I didn't really do the numbers properly on this one" said Glen who told reporters that he had "seen the concept work really well for coffee stores" and in terms of numbers you could argue that Glen's campaign worked. As the new Porsche dealer sold 18 Porches in the first hour of the store opening. It took the head office a full hour to realise what was going on and subsequently shut the store. Local man Bruce Stepper took out a second mortgage on his home after getting a promotional flyer in his mailbox. "I am ecstatic - I brought a shiny red Porsche today, got another one free and I have sold just sold it on EBay, all up I end up getting a Porsche 911 for $5000" Jane Cameron was arguably even more entrepreneurial. The local Janitor purchased a Porsche using the dealers "no deposit finance plan for low income earners", sold both cars, paid off the finance account and walked away with $120,000 profit. The finance plan was another one of Glen's initiatives that has now been cancelled. A red faced Glen stated "I have never really been too good at Math and I was sure the whole time we were making money - I was initially blown away by the amount of cars we were selling in that first hour. I had seen the "buy one get one free card" work extremely well for the new coffee shop down the road and thought what a great idea I will try it here." National spokesman for the dealership chain was quoted as saying "We are just glad that the idiot didn’t have time to run with his 'test drive 5 cars, get one free loyalty stamp card' campaign.

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Another day in Technical Suport

No joke, actual call:

"Thank you for calling National City Technical Support, I'm Stawn Kaufman. How can I help you?"

"Hi, yes I'm doing my taxes and I was trying to view my transactions for 2006. The search is only going back to December. How do I go back to see the rest of the year?"

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website."

"Oh. But there's a search bar here, and I'm searching for earlier in the year."

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website. The search bar allows you to search within that timeframe."

"I really need to access this information, how can I get it, do I log in somewhere else?"

(...ok, maybe she's just a slow learner)

"Unfortunately. You can only. View 90. Days. Of activity online."

"Well obviously you still store the information somewhere, how do I access it?"

"Ma'am. It's not possible. You can only view 90 days of activity online."

"Can I pay to have it made available to me?"

"No."

(...)

"Would you like to order copies of those paper statements?"

"No, I have all of those, but I didn't want to have to do everything manually. There used to be more information available online, why did you change it?"

"We have actually increased the amount of information available on the website every year."

"Oh. 90 days of activity really isn't very much. How am I supposed to do my taxes?"

"Ma'am, how did you do your taxes ten years ago?"

(click.)

Another customer issue resolved.