Impossible to know...

Not to one, but to many:

Take a moment; look at me from where you stand. You will see a gaze from eyes of a mysterious brown. And right you should. Because that is what you see, it is what you believe. After all, why would we disbelieve our own eyes and thought? It's a complex process of course, but one we rely on every day. Routinely, we eat our healthy choice bowl cereal in the morning, knowing that, when we actuate the correct nerve in a precise part of our brain, our hand will swing that delicious bite of morning into our mouth and not smash it into our yet-unshaved chin. And, save for the seemingly consistent mornings where our brain is still in fierce retaliation for the night before, we are fairly certain of this cause/effect relationship.

Because of this, I will not blame you or scorn you. You will not be judged or knocked down. Is it that you didn't look hard enough, or that you didn't see the color for what it really is? Is it not blatantly obvious? Didn't you see the hint of emerald green, yearning to bee seen? For years, covered by the darkness and burdened by that load; drowned out. Never able to shine or to bask openly in the sun. And did you see that far beyond your first glance of browns and greens is a surprisingly vivid, and shield-piercing blue. Shouting to be heard and to be held. I am watching you with pleasure and wonder. Do you see me? Have you really looked..

You are my interest and you will become a part of me forever. No mater your life or love. No matter your sex or preference. No matter your wealth or innocence. I am in constant meditation of the life and lives surrounding me. I am ashamed of nothing because there are not wrong decisions. Everyone has a choice in every aspect of their life. We know the risks and the benefits of every final resolution made, either out of rashness or quiet thought. You are a Unique, with your own foundation and your own merit. Everyone is special to someone and you are special to me; perhaps for a reason that you may never know. Maybe one day I will tell you.

I am ineffective at communication of the heart. I am never understood fully no matter how many questions asked. I am hurtful and hateful. I am vengeful when heartbroken. I am protective of love, though it is rarely seen. You will never truly know me, nor would you want to. You do not like everything about me, nor I you. I understand.

If we part our ways, I hope that you take one thing with you. I chose you to be part of my life for a reason. You will be with me forever because I choose to keep you with me. Therefore, no apologies are given; no regrets are needed. You will always be welcome back. But wait, you forgot to.. take some pictures off the wall, they are yours too.

Oh, and if I forgot to say it. I love you.