Interesting Life Bits

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for t he herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
~ Cliff Clavin, Cheers

Hurricane Chamiqua

Ok so this was sent to me as a forward. Don't hate, I did have a small laugh...

Well, it appears Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton have found yet something else to be pissed about. Maxine Waters, a black congresswoman reportedly complained that the names of hurricanes are all Caucasian sounding names. She would prefer some names that reflect African-American culture, such as Chamiqua, Tanisha, Woeisha, Shaqueal, and Jamal. She would also like the weather reports to be broadcast in language that street people can understand because one of the problems in New Orleans is that regular folks couldn't understand the seriousness of the situation due to the racially biased language of the weather report. I can hear it now: A Houston weatherman says:

"Wazzup, mutha-fukkas! Hehr-i-cane Chamiqua be headin' fo' yo ass like Leroy on a crotch rocket! Bitch be a category fo'! So grab yo' chirren, yo'Ho, be leavin yo crib, and head fo' da nearest guv'ment office fo yo FREE shit!"

09F9 : The Cyber-revolt of 2007

Recently, the copyright protection for the new HD-DVD format was hacked and the unlock code was released onto the internet. Digg.com tried to stop the spread of the AACS processing key, but in so doing made the 32-digit hexadecimal number the most popular number in modern history.

The code has spread like a virus everywhere. A simple Google search will return as much as 2 million results. By deleting posts and banning users, Digg spurred an online revolt against big business politics. The front page of Digg had post upon post of users spreading the word about the broken code. Some included the actual code, while some just smacked on Digg for deleting previous posts and told users to search Google.

Where did the code end up?? Well...
- eBay auctions
- personal websites and blogs, like mine
- shirts
- buttons
- pictures and drawings posted on Flickr and Photobucket
- a song, “Oh Nine, Eff Nine” with guitar background

After a length of time, the site was forced to shut down due to server strain. This also gave the company heads a chance to come up with a formulated response. Co-founder Kevin Rose brought the website back up with a response that Diggers would “rather see Digg go down fighting than bow down to a bigger company.” It is reasonable that they would have had the initial response that they did because of the potential for a lost sponsor (HD-DVD is an ad-sponsor for some pages on Digg) and of course a lawsuit is never out of the question (remember Viacom?).

This is another example of how the world is changing. Large companies continue to try to reinforce the hold they have on industry from which they profit. Microsoft, Viacom, Apple... these are all companies who are used to easy profit and are in a panic that they mean nothing to us. The more they try, the harder they fall. Security is hacked weeks after release, movies are downloaded in full before they hit the theaters, Digital Rights Management (DRM for music) is but a carboard barrier.

Knock, knock, big boys. The way of the future is safer, easier, and it also happens to be free. We are the users of the internet. Feel our wrath.

The Real Cinco de Mayo

With the recent political and social unrest regarding Mexican immigration and the negative reaction to President Bush's speech on the issue, many of us have developed a point of view that has less to do with facts than it has to do with popular opinion. Society today tends react react as if programmed with a predisposition towards immigration and its effect on our culture and economy.

Every day people contact me at work (I work for National City, the 8th largest bank in the states) and rant unyieldingly about the use of the Spanish language in our ATMs. They find it ridiculous and disrespectful of our citizenship that we must "press 1" to have our transaction displayed in English.

This being the case, I found it refreshing when I came across such a well written article today about the effect that Mexico has had on the United States. Many of us don't realize that Cinco de Mayo is not actually a celebration of independence, but of a single battle that had an immeasurable impact on both Mexico and on the ongoing civil war in the United States.

On the morning of May 5, 1862 4,000 Mexican soldiers smashed the French and traitor Mexican army of 8,000 at Puebla, Mexico, 100 miles east of Mexico City. This victory kept Napoleon III from supplying the confederate rebels, which led to the Confederates' defeat at Gettysburg just 14 months after the battle of Puebla. In truth, Mexico essentially ended the United States' civil war.

Union forces were then rushed to the Mexico border under General Phil Sheridan to help expel the French. The American Legion of Honor marched in the Victory Parade in Mexico, City. Because of our help, Mexicans have offered assistance to the the United States after Pearl Harbor and in the Persian Gulf War.

Cinco de Mayo is a celebration freedom, liberty, and the joining of cultures to fight for these great causes. There are two ideals which Mexicans and Americans share.

Please click here for the article.

When I'm famous.

Sometimes I sit at work and pretend I'm a movie star. "I'm sorry, but this studio room simply won't do. I need an upgrade and you have five minutes. And tell the chef I wanted caviar with my sushi.."

Pay by Mobile

Nokia, LG, Samsung, Sony and MasterCard are going to make it easier for consumers to shop! Like we need that. There is a plan in motion to make cell phones that can be waived in front of a scanner to make purchases, as with a credit card. This type of service has apparently been available for years in Japan and Hong Kong.

"After several fragmented initiatives, the mobile phone industry is now uniting around a single approach to enabling the mobile phone to be used, instead of cash or plastic credit card, at point of sale," Rob Conway, CEO of the GSM Association, the global trade association for cell phone operators, told Reuters.

It would stand to reason that there will be a security question or PIN number that must be entered into the phone that would enable the purchase. It would be great if it also revealed a picture of the person authorized to make purchases with that mobile device. The benefit being that if your phone is stolen, no purchases could be made by an unauthorized user.

October will bring more news, along with trials of the new services. Click here for more information.

Places you wish you grew up...

This is a partial re-post of a great writeup. Click here if wish to read the entire original post.

Q: Are there any societies where homosexuality is predominant?

A: Ah, this brings us to my favorite cultural sexual oddity, which occurs in Sambia, New Guinea. In the Sambia tribe, as early as age 7, young boys are expected to “suck the penis of a mature boy every night and swallow the sperm" (I'd make a joke if I wasn't terrified). Boys who refuse are forever treated as children within the context of their community, because “without regular ingestion of male seed, the Sambia believe, boys will never grow up into strong, mature men.” At the age of 15, the boys are considered mature enough to provide their own genitals for the younger boys to felicitate. Performing fellatio on a younger boy is strictly forbidden; as it is considered stealing his manhood because it results in a loss of semen from the growing boy (makes me wonder if they replace their “Got Milk?” ads with the tagline “Got cum?” No? Awww shucks). As soon as the boys marry, they cease to engage in homosexual contact, but often times, since they are so estranged from female sexuality and coitus, they ask their new brides to wear a bag over her head and fellate them on their wedding night. Interestingly, according to Loving Boys Vol. 1 (haha, cum again?), “After 10 to 15 years of exclusive homosexual activity carried on by 100 % of the Sambia population, the incidence of adult homosexual orientation is only 5 % - exactly the same as in Western society.” So...short answer, yes, long answer, no.

Source: Brongersma E: Loving Boys Vol. 1. Elmhurst. New York.: Global Academic Publishers, 1986.

Source: Crooks, Robert L. & Baur, Karla (2004) Our Sexuality 9th edition. Wadsworth Publishing Company, 276.

Porsche dealer - "I got it wrong with the buy one get one free card".

Written by Jenny Shu

Thursday, 22 February 2007

Glen Fergusson - Sales and Marketing manager for a brand new Californian Porsche dealer. Has lost his job and faces possible legal proceedings as the company strives to reclaim the costs of the 18 Porches given away free under Glen's Opening day "buy one get one free promotion" "I admit I didn't really do the numbers properly on this one" said Glen who told reporters that he had "seen the concept work really well for coffee stores" and in terms of numbers you could argue that Glen's campaign worked. As the new Porsche dealer sold 18 Porches in the first hour of the store opening. It took the head office a full hour to realise what was going on and subsequently shut the store. Local man Bruce Stepper took out a second mortgage on his home after getting a promotional flyer in his mailbox. "I am ecstatic - I brought a shiny red Porsche today, got another one free and I have sold just sold it on EBay, all up I end up getting a Porsche 911 for $5000" Jane Cameron was arguably even more entrepreneurial. The local Janitor purchased a Porsche using the dealers "no deposit finance plan for low income earners", sold both cars, paid off the finance account and walked away with $120,000 profit. The finance plan was another one of Glen's initiatives that has now been cancelled. A red faced Glen stated "I have never really been too good at Math and I was sure the whole time we were making money - I was initially blown away by the amount of cars we were selling in that first hour. I had seen the "buy one get one free card" work extremely well for the new coffee shop down the road and thought what a great idea I will try it here." National spokesman for the dealership chain was quoted as saying "We are just glad that the idiot didn’t have time to run with his 'test drive 5 cars, get one free loyalty stamp card' campaign.

You may like this.

Summer Blues
Uploaded by nonightfan

Social Media Websites: Illustrated

Social Media Websites: Illustrated

READ IT @ DRIVL.COM

Another day in Technical Suport

No joke, actual call:

"Thank you for calling National City Technical Support, I'm Stawn Kaufman. How can I help you?"

"Hi, yes I'm doing my taxes and I was trying to view my transactions for 2006. The search is only going back to December. How do I go back to see the rest of the year?"

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website."

"Oh. But there's a search bar here, and I'm searching for earlier in the year."

"Unfortunately, you can only view 90 days of activity via the Online Banking website. The search bar allows you to search within that timeframe."

"I really need to access this information, how can I get it, do I log in somewhere else?"

(...ok, maybe she's just a slow learner)

"Unfortunately. You can only. View 90. Days. Of activity online."

"Well obviously you still store the information somewhere, how do I access it?"

"Ma'am. It's not possible. You can only view 90 days of activity online."

"Can I pay to have it made available to me?"

"No."

(...)

"Would you like to order copies of those paper statements?"

"No, I have all of those, but I didn't want to have to do everything manually. There used to be more information available online, why did you change it?"

"We have actually increased the amount of information available on the website every year."

"Oh. 90 days of activity really isn't very much. How am I supposed to do my taxes?"

"Ma'am, how did you do your taxes ten years ago?"

(click.)

Another customer issue resolved.

A tree has many layers

Emotion
n. :: in its most general definition, emotion is an intense mental state that arises autonomically in the nervous system rather than through conscious effort, and evokes either a positive or negative psychological response.

My two cents, if desired: Your first reaction to any situation will almost always be based entirely upon an emotional response. This is an internal chemical reaction that you can’t change. What you can change is your interpretation of that chemical reaction and your physical response to it. Emotional reactions to the changes in life and to the situations life presents have the ability to change nearly every aspect of who we are. Emotions can cause you to become awkward and unsure of yourself or bitter and arrogant.

One thing I try to do is consider my reaction as if it is an email. I can compose the email. Edit, delete, cut and paste, reword for gentleness and then sit back and review for logical correctness. If my emotions write an email that is completely ridiculous (which is often the case), I can just hit the delete button, and start over. If I sit down and actually write everything I am feeling, I often will have enough time to realize that it’s not what I am feeling at all! It’s just the chemicals talking. It’s a simple (yet sometimes hard to accomplish) process of thought before action.

Have you ever wished to become more spiritual and meditative? This would imply a desire to become more complacent and more accepting of conditions surrounding you. Emotions act in complete violation of complacency in nearly every case. In Trekkie terms, Vulcans are very spiritual and meditative. In order to achieve this supreme satisfaction and assuredness, it was necessary for the souls of Vulcan to shed the soft flesh of emotion and don a suit of logic and self-control. Mind you, this was an extreme adaptation of this idea.

Some people remain random, irrational and emotionally reactive and claim that it is in their nature to be. They romanticize these behaviors by using descriptive words such as spontaneous, dreamy and idealistic. How do you intend to achieve financial stability and spiritual solidity with personal characteristics that are so detrimental to your overall objective?

You may say that I am “stable, logical, static, outgoing and realistic”. I say that perhaps everyone can be, but the ability must be developed. Internally, I am changeable, movable, introverted and idealistic. But these attributes do nothing for me in the real world. They complicate things and cause bitterness and rash behavior. They cause me to abandon my responsibilities and chase fireflies in a field of dandelions. They are, however, the basis of inspiration and aspiration. Without our emotions as the fundamental building blocks of our lives, we are nothing but lizards. The only thing cool about that is the whole changing colors thing.

(this post was edited after it was originally posted)

MyArtist Bio

I am an artist. I believe that one of the greatest forms of art is the art of music. Music can express many thoughts and emotions in a way that no other form of art can. I have been involved in music for the majority of my life. From age five, I was singing in church. My sisters and I would (as embarrassing as it was) parade down the isles of the church singing songs like Sandi Patty's "Friendship Company" with streamers and matching outfits. We were quite a show.

I participated in several plays and musicals, including Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe (starring); Oklahoma; Sound of Music; Joe Bob (a reinvention of the biblical book of Job, starring); South Pacific (starring); Meet Me in St. Louis (starring) and others that I'm unable to recall. I was given three straight superior ratings at vocal contest, and was first chair sax in the band. I have participated in many vocal ensembles, including Ashland High School's A Capella Chorus, which was rated the number one high school choir in the nation in 2000.

I have also recorded a CD and performed for weddings and events across the state. I spent a few months with Wall Street's Sunday Night Live, which is a musical comedy group. I have experience playing trumpet, sax, guitar and have recently acquired an electric piano (which I wish my parents would have forced me to learn at age three).

My joy is karaoke with friends at least three times a week at local venues. I am hoping to expand into local entertainment and perhaps one day go on tour. I have yet to decide a genre or style; there are so many I love. Do I have to choose?

The most interesting and gratuitous change in my life was my move to Columbus, Ohio. I have determined that the people I have been so privileged to meet have been most effective in helping me to discover myself and my possibilities. I have learned so much and am almost ready to delve into Part 3 of my life. I don't really know what that entails, but be prepared folks, its gonna be big!

-SK

Life in a Box

At the end of your life you will see that you are built on an accumulation of experiences. Think of this, if you live your entire life in a box with a window that points to the west, and there is a desert to the west, is not that desert and the box all you will know? This box is great! It has become your comfort zone and you love being there. It’s just you, your box, and the desert.

However, only upon exiting your box can you see the rolling waves of the ocean to the east, the tall green forest to the south or the magnificent snow-capped mountains awaiting a daring climber! The more varied and diverse your experiences and relationships, the more exuberant and exciting you will have the opportunity to be. Everyone has features and assets that are hidden within that may never be known, unless unlocked. It’s not that haven’t always been capable of being who you will be when you end your time on this world. You are. Be open to change and experience. They will inspire you and create new life within you.

My mother unlocked my kindness and sincerity.
My father unlocked my sense of responsibility and faith in change.
Trynia unlocked my faith in myself.
Bert unlocked my acceptance of being different.
Chris unlocked my wild side.
Randy and Jerry unlocked ideas of structure and consistency.
Colin unlocked the possibility of an irreplaceable friend.

You hold many keys to many people.
Maybe you didn’t know that you held one to me.
Maybe you didn’t know you’ve already used it.

It's Amazing

Sometimes I sit in awe of how people react to life around them. We all have our reasons (however small) for the things we do. Sometimes one may be alone in the understanding of those reasons, but the reason is ours nonetheless. Sometimes I sit and think about the numerous instances of completely unmerited emotional responses to a situation. Why did I lash out? What did they do that was so wrong to deserve these words that have cut into their soft flesh? Sometimes the heart overpowers the mind.

The interesting thing is that your bitterness toward someone is only possible because of your love!! In turn, that bitterness should be taken as such. Can't you see what they are really saying? These terrible words of anger are but a powerfully sung lovesong, a poem from the heart, card on your birthday, and a tender kiss on the that part of the neck that only they know. Here you sit, broken and bitter, bitter, bitter. Angry! Because they showed you love.

If only everyone could read the truth in our souls. If only we could see it when it is needed. Rather than looking back and being too full of our own pride to state the obvious. I guess realization is the first step. Check.

Impossible to know...

Not to one, but to many:

Take a moment; look at me from where you stand. You will see a gaze from eyes of a mysterious brown. And right you should. Because that is what you see, it is what you believe. After all, why would we disbelieve our own eyes and thought? It's a complex process of course, but one we rely on every day. Routinely, we eat our healthy choice bowl cereal in the morning, knowing that, when we actuate the correct nerve in a precise part of our brain, our hand will swing that delicious bite of morning into our mouth and not smash it into our yet-unshaved chin. And, save for the seemingly consistent mornings where our brain is still in fierce retaliation for the night before, we are fairly certain of this cause/effect relationship.

Because of this, I will not blame you or scorn you. You will not be judged or knocked down. Is it that you didn't look hard enough, or that you didn't see the color for what it really is? Is it not blatantly obvious? Didn't you see the hint of emerald green, yearning to bee seen? For years, covered by the darkness and burdened by that load; drowned out. Never able to shine or to bask openly in the sun. And did you see that far beyond your first glance of browns and greens is a surprisingly vivid, and shield-piercing blue. Shouting to be heard and to be held. I am watching you with pleasure and wonder. Do you see me? Have you really looked..

You are my interest and you will become a part of me forever. No mater your life or love. No matter your sex or preference. No matter your wealth or innocence. I am in constant meditation of the life and lives surrounding me. I am ashamed of nothing because there are not wrong decisions. Everyone has a choice in every aspect of their life. We know the risks and the benefits of every final resolution made, either out of rashness or quiet thought. You are a Unique, with your own foundation and your own merit. Everyone is special to someone and you are special to me; perhaps for a reason that you may never know. Maybe one day I will tell you.

I am ineffective at communication of the heart. I am never understood fully no matter how many questions asked. I am hurtful and hateful. I am vengeful when heartbroken. I am protective of love, though it is rarely seen. You will never truly know me, nor would you want to. You do not like everything about me, nor I you. I understand.

If we part our ways, I hope that you take one thing with you. I chose you to be part of my life for a reason. You will be with me forever because I choose to keep you with me. Therefore, no apologies are given; no regrets are needed. You will always be welcome back. But wait, you forgot to.. take some pictures off the wall, they are yours too.

Oh, and if I forgot to say it. I love you.

My life, six months ago

My life, six months ago

You may know or have heard of Colin, my roommate. Colin and I used to email back and forth all the time. We don't much anymore, but sometimes I look back at them. It's like a journal of my life.

Here's a glimpse of what Stawn was doing/thinking/feeling six months ago...


Cupid, Cupid, Cupid:

So I am loving the feeling I get every morning these days! I have so much energy; it's like each day is an opportunity. I feel like I am in jail, being stuck here at work. My mind is just a jitter right now. I am thinking about so many things. I feel like a lab rat on Tina, running around looking for the cheese! So here's a glimpse into my life. The life of Stawn.


Random Thought #1

Wade keeps calling and texting. I'm really not sure what I think about that. He's a good distraction though, and a pleasurable one at that. Good kissers are hard to come by. I've never played a game with another person that was as fun as the one I play with him! So I waited a week to stay at his house so that I don't become a one night stand. Then I finally stay (no sexxin), and you-guessed-it: He doesn't call or answer his phone. Hmmm. Don't worry I only called him twice and didn't leave any messages (no begging here!). After a week, he calls and says he's been sick at his parent's house. This is a feasible excuse, so I play along. He wants me to call him after work.


Random Thought #2

I think about Matt too often. He is so into drugs I fear he has already lost the part of him that I loved. And yet I still care for him so bad it hurts. I happen to know that his job/car situation didn't pan out as he expected, so I am a little concerned how he is surviving. He has lost touch with all of his friends that were good for him. There was a time when that kid was on top of the world. When I met him he was so sincere, so cheerful, so innocent. I can't help but think he is were he is because of me. Maybe I didn't try hard enough.


Random Thought #3

Oddly, I haven't thought about Bert much… until last night it hit me like a train. I was walking out of Axis and bam, there's this guy who's like "I know you. You used to date Bert. I hang out with him all the time." Funny what the drop of a name will do to a person. A flush of memories and a whirlwind of emotions so seemingly recent they make your spine tingle. Imagine a perfect moment. Everyone has them- they are one of the intricacies of life as we know it. This is a moment that is embedded in your heart. You can grow old, start a family, plant a garden and not think about that moment for months, years, or even a lifetime. Then something random and unexpected occurs, you hear a name, see an image, smell a fragrance long-forgotten but yet somehow distinctly remembered. All at once your there… you know, in the moment. As if it never passed. As if your life from then to now was a mere mid-moment dream and you are there. There: Lying on my stomach at the head of the bed next to him, staring out the window with his shoulder warm against mine. Talking about anything and everything, sometimes nothing, for hours, with the perfect storm pounds on the earth just inches away from our faces. Part of me is still here, staring out that window. Listening to the rain. I really loved that kid… thought I'd be with him forever.


Random Thought #4

My life is completely different then ever before. I always had someone. I have never really been alone. I feel like I missed an opportunity somewhere. The door was right in front of me and I didn't open it. Did I take a wrong turn?

Random Thought #5

Colin. Do you know that I can vividly remember the first time I saw you. That was one of those moments. I was standing at the back of Blondies, drinking what was most probably a Cactus Bowl, and this cute boy walks in with this flair unlike any other. You were standing with Donny (whom I had just met recently) at the bar, artistically dressed as always and fabulous hair. I knew immediately that I had to meet you right then and there before my chance was gone forever. I had the choice to meet you, or to not. I chose to meet you and it changed my life. I think I know you now better than any other friend I have, and yet I feel as if I have hardly scratched the surface. You have so much love to give. We all deal in different ways. Some of us put up walls and are harsh to the touch to prevent hurt. Some of us just stay quiet. Some of us are secretive, manipulative. You intrigue me because you have a little of all of these things. I am honored to have you as a lifetime friend, which I know you will be. I'm not sure how to end this. I feel like I should just keep typing but I'm sure I will write you again soon. I've got to save some of the story for episode II. It is a pleasure like no other to be as open with someone as I am with you. If you ever feel like your life is meaningless or small, know that you have impacted my life immensely. You are, and always will be, my friend.

It is amazing… that I could have gone my whole life without knowing you.

Stawner

Friend Types

I wrote the following when I was a Junior in high school.

(my present-day comments (2006) are in brackets.

I have had a lot of different experiences during the last 3 years of high school. Some have been good and some have not. Everyone thinks that his or her life is worse than the next persons'. I'm no exception. Every once and a while, people like to tell me how, 'good i have it', and every once and a while I have wanted to just shove a garden hose down all their throats and let the water flow! [and i didn't know i was gay why?] They have no idea what is going on in my life! I believe that everyone is push to their limits, by the allowance of God, [yes i was a jesus freak] in order to test their ambitions and convictions in life. I am by no means any kind of educated advice-giver, shrink, or priest, but I try and help others not to make the same mistakes I have. This is my first so-called 'advise page' that I have created all on my own. Maybe it will help you, maybe not. Maybe It'll give you a little more idea on where I'm coming from if I ever say something to you that you don't understand. Is there really any specific purpose for this pace? No...I guess I just felt that some of it needed to be said, So here it is...

There are 5 kinds of friends

1. Acquaintances- these are the friends you meet at parties and talk to whenever you 'run into each other'. Maybe they are kids you sit with at church because you would rather that than to sit with the rents. I think everyone has plenty of these.

Trust 'em? These friends cannot be trusted with anything important. It takes time and attentiveness to build up trust in a person, both of which are never much of a factor in a friendship with an acquaintance.


2. Friends By Transitivity- This is something I made up because there really isn't a name for it that I know of. I got the name from my jeometry calss, where the theory of transitivity states that "if a=b, and b=c, then a=c". Friends by transitivity are the friends that you would never hang out with if not for the fact that they are best friends with a close friend of your own. Because of this you are almost forced to spend lots of time with that person in either a grounp hangout situation, or just sitting at the lunch table everyday. Sometimes these friendships can develop into something more, but they often dont.

Trust 'em? Do not trust them without careful consideration. Just because they have been a good and trustworthy friend to YOUR friend does not require that they treat you in a likewise fashion. Be careful of everything that happens between youa nd this friend because it may have a long-lasting effect on your other friendship. Eg, If 'a' and 'c' have a fight, which side does 'b' choose?


3. Superficial- This i sthe most common type of friend! Pitiful eh? Yeah I thought so too, buyt look at your friends!! If you are like most people, you ahve lots of people you hang out with. Most of those people would stick up for you in a fight, maybe even get hurt defending you when they are grilled by the principal on where the vodka bottle came from. Maybe they'll get a little more popular by hanging out with you...wait what was that?? Yes, maybe there is a reason why they act the way they do around you. Maybe they got booted from their old clique and need a new, temporary friend to hang with. Good at math? Maybe it's their worst subject...how many times do they ask you for yesterdays homework? Dont have a hissy fit if you suddenly realize that you have a friend like this. Most likely, you are this kind of friend to someone else [never thought of that did you?]

Trust 'em? Well with some things, I suppose you could...maybe they wont tell the whole school that you screwed one of your classmates at a party last weekend. Maybe they'll even lie for you so that it doesnt get all over the school. But what happens when your parents break the news that they're getting a divorse? Where'd your friend go? They'll tell you to suck it up and move on. "LIfes a bitch, man, get over it" they'll say. Where's the support when you need it? If they're like most superficial friends, they'll decide that you are no longer 'any fun' and find a new, more exciting crowd.


4. Emotionally Influenced- to put it simply, these are friends that have a crush on you. They might have already let you know, or maybe they keep it insdie. But as long as they like you, they treat you like a king (or queen). [Seriously, didnt know i was gay...]. They are there for you when you are down. They compliment you and raise your self esteem. They keep you company when no one else will, and lend you money at lunch. Dont be fooled. They minute they find another person to replace you on their 'like list' you are no more important to them than a fly on the wall. Maybe they'll never turn their back on you...maybe they are too good of a person to betray you in the end, but most likely they are putting up a very large, very fake front. They make themselves out ot be what you like and try to do everything to make you like them. Only after time will you see the true person that they are, which is why it is never good to rush into things. That I have learned from bitter experiance. Ask around about the person before getting involved (if that is osmething you are considering). NOTE: do not *ever* trust everything you hear about a person, but listen to others so that you will know what to watch out for. Maybe you will get the hint you need to see through the front that that person has put up.

Trust 'em? No. Not unless you are completely satisfied that they are the person they pretend to be and that they are an honorable person.


5. Real (sometimes known as Best) Friends- These are...well there really isn't anything I can say in words. I guess its a gut feeling. Best friends survive over any distance, over any misunderstanding, over any hardships. The only way you can really know whether a friend is of this type is by spending innumerous hours of quality time with him/her. If you know her inside and out, and can tell them anything about you (anything). If they know the worst thing about you and its OK. Maybe you drank a little too much one night a couple of years ago and screwed the cat [I sware it wasnt me] you might never tell anyone, but you could share that with a best friend. I dont know why the hell you would want to, but if you did want to...you could! Real friends are always there to support you and help you through anything. Even if it is completely out of their way or inconvenient for them. One of the most determining factors in whether a friend is a true and honorable friend is knowing that you can have the biggest fight in teh world and end up laughing over it in teh end. Best friends know that physical things can't seperate them, and, no matter what happens, they can always depend on each other beacause love, (including brotherly love) has no boundaries. No limits. No end.


This isnt something I got out of a book, or off an email. I just thought I would write down some things I have learned about the reality of life. It might influence you, it might not. Take a look at your friends right now. See how they rate. Dont use this page as a grading scale, just observe them and how they treat you. You'll know the truth before long.

[A wise woman once said that when you die, you will be able to count your best friends on one hand]